Lola Kirke on Living with Courtney Love, Working with Greta Gerwig and Her Memoir ‘Wild West Village’

Lola Kirke Opens Up About Her Memoir, Wild West Village

For Lola Kirke, writing a memoir wasn’t actually a part of her plan. But the pandemic ignited a surge of “creative energy” that radiated through her. “It was the first time in a decade that I wasn’t acting or on tour,” she tells PEOPLE over Zoom from her home in Nashville. “And I was allowed to discover this other part of myself through writing.”

What made you decide to write this book when you did?

It was the pandemic essentially, and I was out of the habit of working in the way that I had been for so much longer. My life, as I write about it in the book, was really, really shifting in so many ways. And so, while I do wish that it wasn’t the boring, “I wasn’t able to do what I normally do as an artist, so I started writing” answer, I do think that writing does have that incredible ability to help us.

The longer answer [is], I originally conceived [it] being a novel about a band like The Judds and I was going to fragment my entire family into the three Judd women. And then, I realized that I didn’t know how to write a novel.

That honestly sounds like a brilliant concept for a book. Are you still considering writing a novel?

One of the things that kept on coming up with the book, especially because [of its] sensitive subject matter to a lot of the people that I talk about in the book, was like, “Why didn’t you fictionalize it?” I didn’t know how to write a novel at that time. That’s not an available practice of storytelling that I have. But I also think that a novel would’ve allowed me to really say there’s no boundaries because it’s fiction. You can say whatever you want. But now that I am kind of tired of the character of myself, I am curious about writing other characters, and I do think that there’s just a lot more research that you have to do. It’s kind of like acting. Like, if you’re not playing “girl, 34, lives in Nashville,” you might have to do a little bit more work. So, it’s a different kind of work that I now feel more excited to venture into.

You tell many candid tales about your family throughout the book. How did your family react?

One of the blessings of writing the book was developing a relationship with both my sisters — Domino Kirke and Jemima Kirke — that I talk about really not having within the book itself. Time, maturity and growing up has given me a sisterly relationship. When I stopped trying to be my sisters and I started really embracing myself, my sisters were like, “Yeah, we love you. We like you.” And as the consummate little sister, I just think I always wanted them to do that. So that’s been a real gift of this.

And the rest of your family?

Not everybody has had that reaction. There’s definitely been people that do not like the way that I experienced my life. That’s par for the course. I’ve been a people-pleaser. I’ve wanted people to like me, that’s been my goal. And through writing and discovering what I authentically think and feel, I have been able to value other people’s thoughts and feelings less. That’s not to say I’m not compassionate towards them — I try to be and am — but I found myself, and that meant letting go of a couple of other things along the way.

How has fame — and the varying degrees you’ve each experienced it — impacted your relationship with your sisters?

When I was much younger, [I] had hoisted my wagon to the vindication of silver-screen stardom. Then, seeing my sister kind of achieve that in a… then I had my Grand Ole Opry debut, and I felt like I’d been run over by a truck. But after, my whole family descended upon Nashville and then left. And through writing this book, I really learned how much writing helps me not only understand the world around me, but myself, and how healing writing could be. So I was like, “What do I do with this experience?” And I wrote about it. This incredible circumstance [at the Opry] really got to articulate so much about what my life has become and where my life has been. That just felt like a really better ending.

What was your experience like working with Greta Gerwig on Mistress America?

Oh, it was fantastic. Greta is incredible, and it doesn’t surprise me at all that she absolutely has become one of the most sought-after and powerful directors. I certainly have continued to use some of her mannerisms. I mean, she’s just such an inspiration. And now that I’m 34, I can’t believe that she was 29 when she wrote that. I’m like, “Oh, f—, she was so driven and so talented even then.”

Have you discussed working together again?

We were supposed to do an ill-fated production of The Three Sisters in 2020 that then got postponed for like two years, and that ultimately [was] canceled. So, not since then. But I would love to.

How did working on Three Women reinvigorate your acting career, your spirit, or your love of acting?

I love Lisa Taddeo, and it was an honor to get to be part of bringing that book to life. Not many people I know saw [my performance in it], and I didn’t see it either because I have felt pretty insecure about my body. Honestly [I] haven’t seen the last four things that I’ve done because of the body dysmorphia that I developed. But I’m getting through that. A couple of people that I really care about have said like, “Your spirit’s there.” And I’m so happy because that’s the goal, and I’m glad that that came through.

I saw Jenny Lewis mentioned in the acknowledgments of the book. What’s your relationship like with her?

Oh my God. So, Jenny is kind of a psychic, among many other gifts that she has. And very early on in the pandemic, she texted me out of the blue when I was living in the two-room house with The Cowboy [my boyfriend] and was like, “Look, if you ever need a place to go, I have this house in Nashville and I’ll give you the code and you can go in and be there.” And so I started doing that every day for six months, and I would go, sit in her house and I would write. We weren’t that close at this time. Our friendship really, really blossomed after that. I said to her, “If I ever write a book, I will thank you in the acknowledgments because it will have started being written at your kitchen table.” And so [it’s] quite incredible to get to finish the book and get to make good on that promise.

Have you and Jenny ever collaborated on music together?

She very generously once opened one of my shows here in Nashville, but she’s always been a huge support, a mentor to me and dear friend. I love Jenny.

You just announced you have a new album on the way. What can you tell me about it?

It’s called Trailblazer. It comes out March 21, and I’m going on tour, which will all be announced. It’s a little less like down-the-middle country, but it’s definitely pretty country.

Tell me about the album’s lead single “Hungover Thinkin’.”

I wrote it with Liz Rose and Caitlin Rose, who’s her daughter. Liz wrote like the first couple of Taylor Swift’s songs, and both of them are two of my favorite people and writers, so I’m really excited that that’s my first single.

Conclusion:

Lola Kirke’s memoir, Wild West Village, is a candid and introspective look at her unconventional upbringing and the challenges she faced growing up in an artistic family. Through her writing, she has been able to discover new parts of herself and develop a deeper understanding of the world around her.

FAQs:

Q: What inspired you to write your memoir, Wild West Village?
A: The pandemic and a desire to discover a new part of myself through writing.

Q: How did your family react to the book?
A: Some people were not happy with the way I experienced my life, but my sisters and I have developed a stronger relationship through writing.

Q: Have you discussed working with Greta Gerwig again?
A: We were supposed to work together on a production of The Three Sisters, but it was canceled. However, I would love to work with her again.

Q: How did working on Three Women reinvigorate your acting career?
A: It was an honor to be part of bringing Lisa Taddeo’s book to life, and it helped me to discover a new sense of purpose and confidence.

Q: What’s your relationship like with Jenny Lewis?
A: She’s a dear friend and mentor who has been a huge support to me.

Q: Have you collaborated on music with Jenny Lewis?
A: She’s opened one of my shows in Nashville and has been a huge